


Lay your heart on me (if you’re hurting)

by kiss-umi (agstdboi)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Boyfriends, Fluff, Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, lots of fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 12:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5540618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agstdboi/pseuds/kiss-umi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what Jongdae can always count on Yixing to make him feel better.</p><p>(Originally written and posted for ReLAY Festival)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay your heart on me (if you’re hurting)

To say his day has been shit is an understatement, Jongdae knows. Even though he keeps himself from whining at Yixing, he lets his thinking do all the job of consuming himself from the inside as he stays in silence.

He watches as Yixing is ordering their pizza and just hopes the elder won't find out about what is consuming Jongdae, because he knows Yixing won't be happy and Yixing didn't come over so that they could be miserable together.

Jongdae wants Yixing to be smiling that pretty smile of his, so his mood can light up a little.

It useless anyway, trying to keep things from Yixing; it's not like the elder wouldn't know as soon as he laid eyes on Jongdae, throwing concerned looks in his direction once in a while ever since he got to Jongdae’s apartment. Jongdae just likes to pretend for a while that he’s in control even if it means it won't last long enough.

“Are you going to tell me what's wrong or I'll have to guess?” Yixing asks rather annoyed, ending the call.

Jongdae watches as Yixing sits next to him on the couch, cupping his cheeks so he could plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Jongdae stayed still while Yixing was sliding an arm across his shoulders, trying to pull him closer and stare at Jongdae in the eye.

The intimate gesture makes him feel like his soul is being undressed and explored and Jongdae hates feeling like this in front of his boyfriend, he always did, even before they become more than just friends and Yixing would stare intensely at him making Jongdae feel so vulnerable, so fucking naked. He once thought the discomfort would stop as they started to get closer and more attached, but some things never change and not even after they started dating Jongdae stopped squirming under Yixing’s stare.

They stay in this unasked silence for a while, Yixing eyes never leaving Jongdae. He knows it's a matter of time for Yixing to undress his armour against deep and inspiring talks, the one Jongdae puts up because sometimes he simply hates having a heart to heart.

Jongdae doesn't look at Yixing while they stay like this, he can feel the other breath against his cheek and that’s all, so he misses Yixing’s eyebrows furrow in concern while he tries to figure out what's up with Jongdae.

“Just the usual,” Jongdae answers without dragging the subject, probably because he doesn't want Yixing to know what's wrong. 

But, as always, he underestimates Yixing’s character and his ability to make him talk, even what he doesn't want to.

“It is about your family, isn't it?” He asks rhetorically, tightening his hold around him as his thumb start to draw small circles in his fabric covered’s skin. Yixing buries his face in the crook of Jongdae’s neck inhaling deeply his sweet scent. The act, intimate for itself, makes a shiver run down Jongdae’s spine.

“I… Yes,” Jongdae says. He feels the heat spreading through his cheeks, even if he doesn't know exactly why he is embarrassed.

“What they have done now babe?” Yixing asks. Jongdae plays the endearment on his head, the warmth of his words in order to calm himself down before he sighs in defeat, knowing Yixing will not let this one go.

“They're being difficult,” he says. Yixing arches an eyebrow but doesn't answer for a while, eyes trained on his boyfriend’s pout.

“They've always been difficult Jongdae,” he concludes and Jongdae has to hold the urge to roll his eyes because yes, they've always been difficult.

“I know,” he simply answers.

Jongdae's family was never easy to deal with, but things got worse after Jongdae came out to them. That year was hell on earth and Jongdae was sure by the time it was over he didn't want to go through all of that again, so he broke any kind of contact he had with them. It doesn't mean, however, that they fucked the hell off: they kept trying to speak with and to see Jongdae all the time, begging him to let them take him to some sick hospital that they believed could cure Jongdae, like a disease. That was when Jongdae got sick of their bullshit and decided to transfer to a university in Seoul, starting a new life in there. This apartment, his degree, everything he has he build it up alone and not a single coin of his parents’ money could be exchanged for the experience he gained along the way, the friendships he made and the things he felt.

Jongdae notice Yixing looking at him in concern so he smiles, kind of assuring kind of helpless.

“They told me to go home for the Moon Festival,” Jongdae explains. “They want me to bring my girlfriend with me,” he finishes, eyes trained on his hands so he doesn't have to look at Yixing and see his reaction at his family’s homophobic acts.

Jongdae knows what they are like, he also knows what Yixing thinks of them, how sick he says they're for trying to fix Jongdae from something that doesn't need to be fixed. Yixing thinks he's good enough the way he's, he says it every time Jongdae lets himself go to the dark place inside his mind, reminding him with kisses and even before that hugs, words of encouragement about Jongdae’s positive traits and Jongdae let him, let Yixing takes what's worse on Jongdae and make it look better, let Yixing do the real fixing.

“It's for you to choose to go or not,” he starts sweetly, advice sounding old and familiar on his ears. “If they can't accept you for what you are then fuck them. You're perfect Jongdae, nobody's got a say on that too, only you.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae simply whispers, meet Yixing half away so they could kiss. It's simple, soft and loving, the kind of damage repair kisses Yixing likes to give. His hands are also comforting, one tight around Jongdae waist, thumbs shooting small circles against it, and the other on his shoulders, pulling him closer each time.

“But if you still want to go, that's okay,” Yixing continues. “I've always wanted to try out crossdressing anyway.” By the time Yixing has ended his sentence Jongdae was already laughing that loud, obnoxious laugh that only him could pull off, making Yixing smile so wide his cheeks started to hurt.

Jongdae holds Yixing by the nape, pulling him closer until they lips almost meet. He changes his gaze from his eyes to his lips, breathing coming out loud already.

His lips brush against Yixing’s and there's a brief moment where they stay still, staring at each other and waiting for someone to give in, before Jongdae does, kissing Yixing hard on the mouth. It taste young, something new but not quite unfamiliar, like they've already figured out some part of each other's taste and Jongdae tries to set a calm and steady pace, wanting to be in control. Yixing allows him this time, because Yixing is the kind of person to always give, never takes. His hands stay firm on the younger’s shoulders and waist, squeezing hard and soft alternatively.

They break off after some minutes and their loud and quick breaths fill the room’s silence. Yixing is the first to break it with his voice though.

“What do you think about a video game tournament while we’re waiting for the pizza?” He asks, playing with Jongdae's locks. Before Jongdae can answers he dives in and kisses him again, nipping at the other’s lower lip.

They have been doing it for three years already, the video game thing not the kissing thing.

It started during Junior year in college, when Jongdae was a huge nerd with speckles and oversized sweatshirts and Yixing was the cute foreigner student who missed his home more than usual. Their dorm’s RA was always too busy to help him out so Jongdae took him under his wing, lending Yixing a hand with anything he needed, be it the language and the homesickness, the former one with extra-large pizza and video game competitions.

“Today is Saturday,” Jongdae says when they break off and he manage to catch his breath enough to form a sentence.

They've never done this on a Saturday. It have always been on Fridays, when classes were over and Jongdae found an excuse to escape to next door’s room. He knew back then when it became more than just helping Yixing out, Jongdae actually started to look forward to their weekly hangouts, to expect eagerly for his classes to end in order to be with Yixing. That's why they've turned it into a tradition: they usually could be themselves inside their rooms, just the two of them and honestly both needed some break from reality. That’s why this tradition means so much to them, because it was formed around their supporting relationship, besides the unmistakable need to be with each other.

“I know, but you could use a break and I could use some fun,” Yixing answers. When Jongdae makes a face at him the elder tries to act cute, holding Jongdae by his arm and shaking it. “Come on Dae. We can have a bet if you want, the winner gets to ask for anything.”

This makes Jongdae reconsider, a lot of ideas coming up in his mind as he easily agrees. There’s a lot he could ask Yixing for, but there's one single thing he has been looking forward the last few weeks and he's not going to let this chance pass.

“Let's do it.” He smiles weakly, innocently at Yixing, trying to make him think he's an adversary easy to defeat. Yixing bites it. Or at least, Jongdae thinks he did. Oh boy, how wrong he was.

Yixing wins exactly ten consecutive rounds in Mario Kart and when he finishes he's smiling wider than ever, secure of himself, making Jongdae hate the fierceness shining on his eyes.

“Want to go again?” He asks with a hint of harmless in his voice. “We can make it all or nothing.”

Jongdae reconsider, knowing he's losing so bad and that would be less humiliating if he'd stop right now, but there's also still a chance for him to win, if he knows the right cards to play. And Jongdae has to win.

“Okay, but I get to pick the game,” he says. Yixing doesn't look distressed, smile never fading and it creeps Jongdae out.

He doesn't back down, not even when they start the new round, Donkey Kong’s by Jongdae’s choice. Jongdae can't play this game quite well but Yixing is so terrible at it that makes Jongdae feels confident this time- however Yixing is terrible at every Mario game and he still won all of the previous rounds.

Doesn't matter how much of an effort Jongdae makes because in the end he loses anyway, joystick burning for overload and an unbelievable look fixed on the screen. 

“You’re are horrible at this game Jongdae,” Yixing teases, making Jongdae turn to look at Yixing smiling cocky. Jongdae wants to erase that smile from his face, preferable with his lips.

“You are terrible at this game too. It’s not fair,” Jongdae whines. He throws the joystick on the couch, crossing his arms across his chest in a spoiled act, like a five-year old who doesn't get what he wants. He waits for Yixing to say something, throwing glances at him from the corner of his eye.

“Guess Lotte Word can give me enough motivation,” Yixing says. When Jongdae turns at him with a questioning look he's still smiling, and fuck how Jongdae loves-no, he means hate, he hates that smile.

“You’re going to ask for me to take you there?” Jongdae asks, eyebrow shot up into his hairline, trying not to smile back at Yixing. It becomes harder when he tilts his head unaware and Jongdae’s breath get stuck somewhere in his throat.

Jongdae tries not to squeak, to not give in but fuck, how can someone can be this attractive without even trying? - he still doesn’t squeak because Kim Jongdae does not squeak, thank you very much.

“Yes,” he answers, smiling wider than before. Jongdae tries to keep his composure because somehow he still believes he has some pride when it comes to Zhang Yixing. “You can take me there as our first official date.”

At the mention of a date Jongdae feels his insides warming and he trusts himself to not be blushing.

“First date?” Jongdae stutters. Good Lord, can he stop being so embarrassing?

“Yes,” Yixing answers with a hint of amusement in his voice while he watches Jongdae smirk under his stare. “We haven't been to one yet, have we?” He tries to look innocent, tilting his head in slight, faked confusion. The fucking bastard knows what he's doing to Jongdae and he is having fun with it.

Jongdae gets so distracted trying to resist Yixing that he doesn't hear when the other speaks again, calling out Jongdae's name when he doesn't answer.

“Sorry what did you say?” Jongdae is falling into Yixing’s seducing tricks  and he decides immediately he hates it. 

“I asked what was your wish,” he repeats himself, moving closer to Jongdae.

Yixing supports his arm on the couch’s back so he can look at Jongdae without much trouble and the former tries to stay calm, retracting his body a little. Zhang Yixing is too close and Jongdae can't handle this at the moment, not when he was thinking about such a shameless thing.

“Nothing,” he answers shortly, knowing Yixing wouldn't bite it anyway.

“Is that so?” Yixing asks.

“Yes, I didn't decide.” Jongdae tries to look convincing. He's not fooling anyone, he knows it so it becomes just a matter of when Yixing will know and Jongdae decides he doesn't want to drag this out anymore.

“Come on Jongdae, are you gonna tell me now or…?”

“A blow job,” he majorly stutters, and Yixing doesn't hear him, so he has to repeat himself, feeling even more embarrassed than before. “ I was going to ask for a blowjob.”

“Seriously?” Yixing asks.

“I know it sounds ridiculous but…”

“It does”

“What?”

“It does sounds ridiculous,” Yixing answers. Jongdae feels worried when Yixing simply stares at him in disbelief, thinking he would say he's crazy and what makes you think I would give you a blowjob?, what he doesn't expect is what comes next. “Of course I'll give you one.”

“What?” Jongdae is slighted confuse at the moment.

“You think I would deny sex to my own boyfriend Jongdae?”

“You have every right to do so.” Jongdae would never force Yixing or anyone else to do anything they didn't want to and he thought Yixing would know that at least.

“I know I do, but that's not the point. I like you, in both sexual and romantic ways so why wouldn't I want to have sex with you?”

“I… Don't know,” he answers a bit reluctant.

“Come here,” it's all Yixing says, hand reaching out for Jongdae. He takes it not so sure of what to do next, but Yixing decides it for him and in a blink of an eye he's spread on Yixing’s lap, hands on his large shoulders in order to steady himself. A surprised gasp escape his lips as Yixing holds Jongdae’s waist with warm and steady hands making his insides burn.

“Yixing…” Jongdae breathes out, eyes trained on his boyfriend’s while the former pulls him even closer so their noses touch. 

They stay still for a moment before Yixing tilts his head in Jongdae’s direction and Jongdae meets him halfway. It's so fast and easy, how Yixing steals his breath away, taking control this time. Jongdae is not humble, he knows he's a good kisser, but Yixing is a marvellous one, no one did ever kissed Jongdae like he does, caring and sinful at the same time, like Yixing is letting him choose either he’s going to be his saviour or his devastator, Jongdae as greedy as he is always choose both.

It's familiar how their hands explore each other's bodies, even though it's been only one month and a half it’s completely predictable like a choreography. Yixing pull and Jongdae pushes as they kiss.

Things start to escalate quickly into something hotter and messier, Jongdae pulling at the hem of Yixing’s shirt, trying to take it off. Yixing lets him, pulling his arms up when the fabric reaches his armpits to help Jongdae out. Once he's out of his top Jongdae starts tracing his skin, fingertips mapping every inch of his collarbones, arms, chest and neck- the last movement made Yixing’s body shiver violently.

Jongdae moves his hips to adjust his position becoming very aware of his trapped boner. He sighs in frustration, hips coming down to rock against Yixing’s in violent movements. Yixing lets out a groan when the friction becomes to hard and he can't handle it. He holds on Jongdae thighs, making the other yelp aw he skillfully gets up from the couch and walks towards the room.

Jongdae busies himself with nipping at Yixing’s sensitive neck so doesn't know exactly how they end up in his room. He only realises when Yixing throws him on the bed, crawling up over him right after. They keep kissing, making a hot mess of each other and Jongdae thinks this is enough, he could die this way, into Yixing’s arms while life is being kissed the hell out of him.

Yixing is fast to get rid of Jongdae’s shirt, hands traveling up with the fabric and along Jongdae’s slightly defined torso. The youngest feel a shiver runs down his spine and he holds on the mattress, trying not to make a sound.

As soon as he’s shirtless Yixing is all over him again, kissing and nipping down his neck, marking a way of slip and red marks down his body, Jongdae's hand coming up into Yixing's scalp, pulling his hairs when Yixing reaches his stomach, tongue running the extension of his happy trail where he can kiss his way down to his pant's hem. Yixing doesn’t waste any time, opening the button and pulling Jongdae’s pants down with his underwear.

Jongdae tries to cover up unconsciously but Yixing’s hands stop him from doing so and Jongdae lifts his head to look at him through semi-closed eyes and he tries not to sigh, failing pretty bad at it.

“Don't. Let me see you,” Yixing barely whispers. Jongdae complies easily, the other voice doing it’s job to calm him down. He still feels uncomfortable shy under Yixing’s loving stare but he tries not to think too much and decides to feel the way his body reacts to the room’s cool temperature and to Yixing’s burning touches.

Distracted, he barely noticed when Yixing comes down and takes Jongdae’s cock into his mouth and sucks it in one go. He moans in surprise, hand flying up to his mouth to keep himself quiet while the other never let go of his hold onto Yixing hair.

“Don’t hold yourself,” Yixing says when he let go of the head, “I want to hear you.”

Jongdae complies, letting himself go as Yixing takes his cock again in the mouth and starts bobbing his head fast, tongue trained against his vein. The moans that fill the room become more loud and soon Jongdae is calling Yixing’s name as he pulls on his hair for more contact, hips thrusting into his mouth as Yixing tries not to gag. Despite the discomfort he keeps bobbing his head, hollowing his cheeks and sucking strongly. 

Yixing starts to alter his pace and Jongdae noises become accordly: when he speeds up Jongdae gasps, breath coming out in low whines; when he slows down, mouth barely touching the head before it comes out to give it kittenish licks all along his length Jongdae sees himself moaning and begging for Yixing to go faster please.

But when Yixing complies and it becomes too much for Jongdae, he trusts his hips again, stronger this time and Yixing gags briefly before continuing his ministrations as the heat starts to build up Jongdae’s stomach. It’s not until he is almost coming, breath more erratic than before and head spinning in pleasure that Yixing stops, supporting himself with his both arms on each side of Jongdae while he crawls up the latter's body, marking his way up exactly like he did before, every inch of skin he can reach as Jongdae whines frustrated.

“Yixing I need to come,” he speaks with a rather raspy voice. Yixing smiles sweetly at him from where he is and finishes the way up to his body, kissing the breath out of him as soon as he reaches his mouth.

“I know babe,” he answer before nipping at his lip, kissing Jongdae’s whole face. Yixing rocks his hips against Jongdae’s unconsciously, becoming very aware of his neglected boner. “Fuck,” Yixing hides his face in the crook of his neck, gasping for air.

“Out, I want them out,” Jongdae says, pulling at his pants stubbornly while Yixing tries to compose himself a little. He starts to rock again then, ignoring Jongdae’s request in order to seek some relief.

Jongdae starts to feel annoyed by the fabric rubbing against his bare skin, wanting to feel more than just his old jeans and he moves fast, changing their positions so he’s on top and put his hand between their bodies to pop the button open, pulling down Yixing’s pants and his underwear to finally free his cock.

Jongdae has seen Yixing naked before countless times for the past three years, but only now, looking at him sprawled across his bed, skin shining with sweat and chest making irregular moves while he tries to catch his breath that he becomes aware of his cock’s size. And it’s big, to say at least.

“Fuck me,”Jongdae says, mouth falling open at the view.

“I intend to do so, but not now,” Yixing answers, pulling the other down so he can kiss him hard. Jongdae protest merely against Yixing’s mouth before relaxing and molding his body into Yixing’s. His tongue explores the insides of Jongdae’s hot mouth, sliding across his teeth as Jongdae holds himself on Yixing.

Jongdae starts again with the hips movements and Yixing remembers of their erections, pressed up together between their bodies. Jongdae feels Yixing’s hand holding both of their cocks and realises what he had in mind, moving to support his body with both hands on each side of Yixing’s head, helping him to get more access as he pumps their lengths with an impressive pressure.

With Yixing’s attention turned to his strokes Jongdae take the lead of the kisses, nipping and biting at Yixing’s mouth until it’s red and swollen and he can take it anymore. Jongdae feels so overwhelmed that his breath get caught on his throat again, mouth opening to ask for Yixing to go faster. Yixing squeezes their cocks, going faster as he knows neither of them will last longer.

Soon fire starts to build up in Jongdae’s abdomen, climax escalating fast and it doesn’t take more than just five seconds and one hard squeeze of Yixing’ hand so he see only white, moaning Yixing’s name out loud as his cum spray in his and Yixing’s stomachs. He feels dizzy, weak arms trying to support his body while Yixing strokes both of them out of their orgasms, a wave of heat running through his body, warming up his extremities.

His hand comes to hold Jongdae by the waist when the other falls flat against his chest, exhaustion getting the best of him.

Yixing makes him rolls of off him murmuring something about tissues. He leaves Jongdae in the bed, sprawled across it and staring at the ceiling as he tries to steady his breath. Yixing comes back and cleans Jongdae’s abdomen before joining him on the bed, pulling the younger to rest his head on his chest while he strokes his hair.

“That was amazing,” Jongdae says, still out of breath. Yixing smiles against his hair before kissing the top of his head.

“You’re amazing,” he retorts and Jongdae should’ve known by now that Yixing can’t always take a compliment without feeling shy.

“But next time you’re fucking me, right?” Jongdae asks, head lifting to look at Yixing.

“You’re insatiable Jongdae,” Yixing exhales, “Yes, I’ll fuck you next time.”

“How can I not be when I’m dating the Sex God itself,” he retort cocky and Yixing sighs.

“Sometimes I just want to punch you in the face for being so stupid,” Yixing says. 

“At least I’m your stupid,” Jongdae looks and see Yixing closing his eyes, trying to fight an amused smile.

“Yes, you are. Stupid.” He feels like if he keeps retorting this conversation will never end, so instead of answering Yixing keep his eyes closed and tries to rest a little, hand never stopping from stroking Jongdae hair.

“Hey Xing,” Jongdae starts to speak again and Yixing can’t bring himself to be angry at him. 

“Yes Jongdae?” Yixing’s voice is full of patient and calm.

“Thank you,” he says it again, even though he’s sure Yixing has heard it on the first time, he wants to make sure his boyfriend knows how grateful he’s for having Yixing on his life. “I don’t deserve you to be honest, you are the best thing that ever happened to me and you’re right, if my family can’t accept that then I guess it’s their loss.”

“You’re welcome, babe. ” Yixing answers simply with his sweet usual voice tone as he smiles, dimple showing up and making Jongdae smile. “You’re so special Dae, I just wish you could see that. Don’t let them bring you down, remember how much I care about you. How much I love you. They don’t matter, if they can’t love you for what you are they simply don’t. Please always remember that, and remember of your value, even if I’m not here to help you to, do it not for me but for yourself.”

Jongdae looks at Yixing in awe, wondering how he managed to be with this amazing man under him. He must have saved the word on his past lives, countless times to deserve to be in Yixing’s arms, welcoming and warm, to be able to be loved and cared by him. He buries his face on Yixing’s chest and inhales the cozy scent coming from his boyfriend’s skin- how he loves using the word boyfriend even if it’s only on his mind sometimes.

He knows Yixing is fighting against his tiredness, but he can’t quite remember why, so he gives in, letting his eyes close for a brief moment.

Sundely they’re both startled awake by the doorbell, making Jongdae slighted confused, beginning to wonder who could be at this time.

“It’s the pizza,” Yixing explains while he gets up and puts on some grey sweatpants he finds on the desk.

“Can’t we eat on the bed?” Jongdae asks, trying his best pout but Yixing is immune to it as he is immune to any other of Jongdae’s manipulation attempts.

“No, we just had sex in it. Put on some pants and come to the kitchen,” he says authoritatively before leaving the room. Jongdae watches his back’s muscles as he walks away and decides he is going to keep Yixing for a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> It's so terrible and I can't write to save my life but thank you for reading it (￣▽￣)ノ I haven't had time to fix it so please disconsider any grammar mistakes.


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